Its 2012

In the name of God, The Most Gracious Most Merciful,

Its the first day of 2012, lets reflect on this:

Sometimes we lose hope in turning to God and asking for His help because we feel like we have done too much wrong. And yet think of a child who has just angered his mother and immediately after trips and falls on the stairs. Even if that child had just angered his mother to tears, the moment he falls and cries for help, she runs to him. This is human mercy. And God is infinitely more merciful than a mother is to her child. So, do you think--no matter what you've done--when you're falling and cry out to the *most* merciful...He wouldn't come save you?

*If you trip, dont have to wait for another New Year's Eve to start again. Each breath that we take is Allah giving us another chance to be better. So don't wait, cause no one knows when we'll be taking our last breath.

Wallahu'alam.

Cerite tentang selai python bername Jenny.

Salam wbt & salam sejahtera.

Ini merupekan sebuah kisah benar yg telah diceritakan kpdku via kakakku yg mendegr cerita ini dari salah seorang sahabat akrabnya, Kak Ainul Huda.

Anyway, ceritanye mengenai seorg kenalan yg membele selai Python ataupun lebih mesre dgn name melayu nye, ular sawa sbg haiwan peliharaan.

Encik David (bukan name sebenar) telah membele, membelai dan menjage Jenny (juga bukan name sebenar) dgn penuh kasih syg ...ibarat manatang minyak yg penuh sejak si Jenny kontot dan kenit lagi. Makan minum dijage..malah Jenny turut tidur bersame David tatkala malam menjelang (Yes, manusie, sekatil dgn ular)

Jenny pun membesar dgn sihat dan seperti ular yg normal. (Omg, gile cuak type ular bebyk kali) ok anyway,

satu hari, si Jenny yg telah meningkat remaja (ikut lifetime Python ok), enggan utk makan...bukan sahaja polar pemakanannya telah berubah..malah polar tidurnye juga tidakla seperti selalu. Jenny si Python yg selalunye tidur berlingkar persis selai ular kini tidur dgn cara melunjurkan badannya...
David semakin risau dan kasihankan Jenny kesygn kerana tingkahlakunya yg seperti sakit gtu.
Hal ini telah berlalu bagi beberapa ketika sehinggalah David mengambil keputusan utk membawe Jenny menemui pakar perubatan (a.k.a Veterinarian lah).

Setelah menjelaskan keadaan Jenny kepada Doktor tersebut. Ha, nk tawu Doktor tu kate ape? Ikutilah perbualannye..:

Doctor : Hmm..kes ini agak serious..dan saya rasa moleklah jike En. David tinggalkan Jenny di sini.

David : (Dgn penuh kerisauan)..Lame ke dokter sy kene tinggalkan die? Kenape dgn die?

Doctor : Sebenarnye si Jenny nie... bukanlah saket secare sengaje..cume die sdg mempersiapkan dirinye..

David : (Eh..my baby dah nak mati ke..??...)

Doctor : ...Sebenarnye..die sdg mempersiapkan dirinye utk mnjdkan En. David sbg mangsanye. Perilaku nya yg tidak mkn adalah kerana die sedang mempersiapkan dirinya, menahan perut, ibarat puasa..kerana ingin menyimpan perut bg menelan Encik..Dan apabila dia tidur dlm keadaan melunjur adalah kerana...die sdang mengukur dan membudget kepanjangan badannya..Jike die mampu menelan habis Encik David.

haaaaa...sentap kan!?! My first reaction to this story was....Kurang aja punye ular! Like literally..statement ini telah disuarekan buat beberape kali..utk seberape ketike..

I was like mcm..OMG ular ni..takde budi bahase ke..Org tu da jage kau bagai..Jahat taw sesenyap buat plan.

I was quite angry at this Jenny for quite sometime until I manage to rationalize things..

An ustaz once reminded my friends and I about the definition of zalim... Zalim is when when we place something bukan pada tempatnya...Meletakkan sesuatu bukan pada tempatnye. ( It can mean alot of course)
But in this context I guess.. All of this wouldnt happen if David tak decide utk membele Jenny di selai tempat yg bukan merupekan habitat semulajadinye.. Theres a reason why snakes never made it to te domestic pets category.. it belongs to the wild...Living with other wild animals..Singing circles of life. or if die tak teri nyanyi lagi english they would probably nyanyik lagu Bangau oh Bangau.
Anyway, my point is..Snakes were never meant to live with us..
So in Jenny's defense...its not really her fault..Its just how she is.. Shes probably not proud of it.. But. tula..She is how she is la.
Edward Cullen pn paling2 vegetarian he can get pon lahap mountain lions and bears juge kan.

But yes..I do pity David (seb baekla kau angkut si Jenny tu pegi Kelinik on time abang oi)..I pity him in a sense that..yela si Jenny nie kalau ye pn..kasik warning la dl..kau sesenyap buat plan nk telan si David yg dah besarkan kau cm ank sendiri ..ape cer..

But..yes I know..David juge bukanlah Harry Potter mahupun Voldemort yg mampu berbahasa Parseltongue. Siape tahu kan..tah2..mmg si Jenny cube beberape kali untuk memberitahu si David..tapi si David nie buat bodo je..yelah dah mamat tu x faham.

So anyway, I guess my conclusion is...jgnlah menzalimi diri, menzalimi makhluk Allah yg laen atau ape sahaje lah dgn meletakkan sesuatu bukan pade tempat yg sepatutnye..dan melawan fitrah hidup. If it was never eant to be..It will never be. And if we try to go against what He has ordained for us..
Bad things will happen eventually..
Sesungguhnye..Dielah yg Maha Bijaksana and Maha Mengetahui atas segale sesuatu.

Wallahu'alam

Selamat beramal~
;-)

Why do people have to leave each other?

Part I

When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question was a personal one, but it seemed clear to me why the question was chosen for me.
I was one to get attached.
Ever since I was a child, this temperament was clear. While other children in preschool could easily recover once their parents left, I could not. My tears, once set in motion, did not stop easily. As I grew up, I learned to become attached to everything around me. From the time I was in first grade, I needed a best friend. As I got older, any fall-out with a friend shattered me. I couldn’t let go of anything. People, places, events, photographs, moments—even outcomes became objects of strong attachment. If things didn’t work out the way I wanted or imagined they should, I was devastated. And disappointment for me wasn’t an ordinary emotion. It was catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again.
But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken. And that’s exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another.
But the people who broke me were not to blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us.
Our weight was only meant to be carried by God. We are told in the Quran: “…whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Qur’an 2: 256)
There is a crucial lesson in this verse: that there is only one handhold that never breaks. There is only one place where we can lay our dependencies. There is only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment, and security. That place is God.
But this world is all about seeking those things everywhere else. Some of us seek it in our careers, some seek it in wealth, some in status. Some, like me, seek it in our relationships. In her book, Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert describes her own quest for happiness. She describes moving in and out of relationships, and even traveling the globe in search of this fulfillment. She seeks that fulfillment—unsuccessfully—in her relationships, in meditation, even in food.
And that’s exactly where I spent much of my own life: seeking a way to fill my inner void. So it was no wonder that the little girl in my dream asked me this question. It was a question about loss, about disappointment. It was a question about being let down. A question about seeking something and coming back empty handed. It was about what happens when you try to dig in concrete with your bare hands: not only do you come back with nothing—you break your fingers in the process. And I learned this not by reading it, not by hearing it from a wise sage. I learned it by trying it again, and again, and again.
And so, the little girl’s question was essentially my own question…being asked to myself.
Ultimately, the question was about the nature of the dunya as a place of fleeting moments and temporary attachments. As a place where people are with you today, and leave or die tomorrow. But this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We, as humans, are made to seek, love, and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent. We are made to seek what’s eternal. We seek this because we were not made for this life. Our first and true home was Paradise: a land that is both perfect and eternal. So the yearning for that type of life is a part of our being. The problem is that we try to find that here. And so we create ageless creams and cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on—in an attempt to mold this world into what it is not, and will never be.
And that’s why if we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts. It is because the definition ofdunya, as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. Allah put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect. By trying to find fulfillment in what is fleeting, we are running after a hologram…a mirage. We are digging into concrete with our bare hands. Seeking to turn what is by its very nature temporary into something eternal is like trying to extract from fire, water. You just get burned. Only when we stop putting our hopes indunya, only when we stop trying to make the dunya into what it is not—and was never meant to be (jannah)—will this life finally stop breaking our hearts.

We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. That we need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.
And pain is a pointer to our attachments. That which makes us cry, that which causes us most pain is where our false attachments lie. And it is those things which we are attached to as we should only be attached to Allah which become barriers on our path to God. But the pain itself is what makes the false attachment evident. The pain creates a condition in our life that we seek to change, and if there is anything about our condition that we don’t like, there is a divine formula to change it. God says: “Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.” (Qur’an, 13:11)
After years of falling into the same pattern of disappointments and heartbreak, I finally began to realize something profound. I had always thought that love of dunya meant being attached to material things. And I was not attached to material things. I was attached to people. I was attached to moments. I was attached to emotions. So I thought that the love of dunya just did not apply to me. What I didn’t realize was that people, moments, emotions are all a part of dunya. What I didn’t realize is that all the pain I had experienced in life was due to one thing, and one thing only: love of dunya.
As soon as I began to have that realization, a veil was lifted from my eyes. I started to see what my problem was. I was expecting this life to be what it is not, and was never meant to be: perfect. And being the idealist that I am, I was struggling with every cell in my body to make it so. It had to be perfect. And I would not stop until it was. I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to this endeavor: making the dunya into jannah. This meant expecting people around me to be perfect. Expecting my relationships to be perfect. Expecting so much from those around me and from this life. Expectations. Expectations. Expectations. And if there is one recipe for unhappiness it is that: expectations. But herein lay my fatal mistake. My mistake was not in having expectations; as humans, we should never lose hope. The problem was in *where* I was placing those expectations and that hope. At the end of the day, my hope and expectations were not being placed in God. My hope and expectations were in people, relationships, means. Ultimately, my hope was in this dunya rather than Allah.
And so I came to realize a very deep Truth. An ayah began to cross my mind. It was an ayah I had heard before, but for the first time I realized that it was actually describing me: “Those who rest not their hope on their meeting with Us, but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present, and those who heed not Our Signs.” (Qur’an, 10:7)
By thinking that I can have everything here, my hope was not in my meeting with God. My hope was in dunya. But what does it mean to place your hope in dunya? How can this be avoided? It means when you have friends, don’t expect your friends to fill your emptiness. When you get married, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you’re an activist, don’t put your hope in the results. When you’re in trouble don’t depend on yourself. Don’t depend on people. Depend on God.
Seek the help of people—but realize that it is not the people (or even your own self) that can save you. Only Allah can do these things. The people are only tools, a means used by God. But they are not the source of help, aid, or salvation of any kind. Only God is. The people cannot even create the wing of a fly (22:73). And so, even while you interact with people externally, turn your heart towards God. Face Him alone, as Prophet Ibrahim (as) said so beautifully: “For me, I have set my face, firmly and truly, towards Him Who created the heavens and the earth, and never shall I give partners to Allah.” (Qur’an,6:79)
But how does Prophet Ibrahim (as) describe his journey to that point? He studies the moon, the sun and the stars and realizes that they are not perfect. They set.
They let us down.
So Prophet Ibrahim (as) was thereby led to face Allah alone. Like him, we need to put our full hope, trust, and dependency on God. And God alone. And if we do that, we will learn what it means to finally find peace and stability of heart. Only then will the roller coaster that once defined our lives finally come to an end. That is because if our inner state is dependent on something that is by definition inconstant, that inner state will also be inconstant. If our inner state is dependent on something changing and temporary, that inner state will be in a constant state of instability, agitation, and unrest. This means that one moment we’re happy, but as soon as that which our happiness depended upon changes, our happiness also changes. And we become sad. We remain always swinging from one extreme to another and not realizing why.
We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting. How can we hope to find constancy if what we hold on to is inconstant and perishing? In the statement of Abu Bakr is a deep illustration of this truth. After the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ died, the people went into shock and could not handle the news. But although no one loved the Prophet ﷺ like Abu Bakr, Abu Bakr understood well the only place where one’s dependency should lie. He said: “If you worshipped Muhammad, know that Muhammad is dead. But if you worshipped Allah, know that Allah never dies.”
To attain that state, don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with God. Don’t let your definition of success, failure, or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him (Qur’an, 49:13). And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes.
Looking back at the dream I had when I was 17, I wonder if that little girl was me. I wonder this because the answer I gave her was a lesson I would need to spend the next painful years of my life learning. My answer to her question of why people have to leave each other was: “because this life isn’t perfect; for if it was, what would the next be called?”

Taken from;
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/character/why-do-people-have-to-leave-each-other/

Super Expensive Cars, Roadtax, Life and God.

Salam (May peace be upon you),

Bismillahirrahmannirahim.

Ever got stuck in a traffic jam or as the french call it "embouteillage"- just love the word. Anyhow, ever got stuck in a traffic and;

- laugh at all the other people stuck there with you?

- curse or make fun of the ones using the emergency lane for their own selfish benefit. (Especially only to get arrested by the policemen waiting a few meters ahead) Ha Ha Ha!

- feel sorry for those driving those kerete mewah seperti jaguar, lamborgini, ferarri, BMW, a Bugatti Veyron maybe dan sebagainye, kerane walau bagaimane awesome pun kerete mereke..ia tetap tak boleh terbang to avoid the traffic.

[Come to think of it, having one of those flying horses yg cam Navi Avatar naek tu seems like a more appealing choice of transport. Awesome nye!] And tak paya bayar insuran and roadtax! Wohoo~

Anyway, I was just thinking, thats one of the things I like about Him. The fact that He overlooks wealth, physical appearance and looks solely into our heart before passing any judgements.

Kinda like cars and traffic. Just because a person drives an Aston Martin, and another person drives some ancient Nissan or Datsun...We all have to abide by the road rules, by the traffic lights etc. Sure the roadtax we pay may differ based on the car we're driving. But in the end, if the traffic light is red, you still have to stop, and even if ure using the fastlane (Smartag/ Touch 'n Go) you still have to pay. And when you find yourself in the midst of a traffic jam. You're stuck..just like the others.

And that is what so beautiful about the Creator Himself and The Deen He entrust us with.

The fact that all that matters is a beautiful and pure Heart.
Jikalau baik dan suci dlmnye...nescaye akan terselah lah keindahannya diluar,insyAllah.

To be able to love us for all that we are...and to know us inside out, the good the bad...Especially the good deeds we do even when others perceive it badly. But He knows we never intend to hurt anyone, that, that one mistake we did, we did it with good intentions..He knows it all for He is The All Knowing.

50:16- And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein.

God is so awesome, kan? ;D

In the end we will all be judge..befittingly, rightfully,fairly.

So despair not those who think this life is unfair, for the real life is not here, yet.
Maybe those evil person got away with the things they did, because no else found out bout it.
And maybe we know about it but its beyond our power to punish them.
Do not be angry..For He knows..and He'll know how to deal with them.
Everyone will finally get what they deserve.
Including us.
So be good people. Til next time.

Wallahu'alam.

Another article which has inspired me-
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/reflections/this-life-a-prison-or-paradise/

Its okay..if you're not perfect.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

To my future husband (whoever you maybe),

Assalammualaikum w.b.t.

I just wanted you to know that Im okay with you not being perfect.

I will learn to accept your flaws. I might not react calm and collected all the time..
But I assure you deep down and in time I'll be okay with it.

The truth is..I don't think I can afford you being perfect and all that I ever wished for.. as the verse goes

2:216 -...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows of that which we don't.

Most importantly, Im scared that if youre flawless,my heart would be all yours,
that I would come to love you more than myself..
that I would love you more than I love Him.
that I would think about you all the time to the extend of forgetting Him.
that my whole life would revolve around you..instead of Him.

So my other half..

With that being said, indirectly speaking, I also wish that you would come to understand, why I'll never be perfect, and the the reason why He created me to have all this flaw, and to err from time to time.
So that from all the hurt and heartache I might cause you.. through it all..
you will find it in your heart to love Him..more than you love me.
That you would devote yourself to Him..and not me..for Im just one of His creations..

I have to be imperfect..so you that you can put Him..above it all.

However,

It doesnt mean that I want you to put up with my imperfections,
Teguran is always welcome..but please..I'd appreciate it if you'd do it in the utmost gentle way..
with hikmah. The way our beloved Prophet would, to his wives.. After all, he is the best example there is..right?
And I promise you, I would try my best..everyday to become a better person,
to live by what is required by our Deen.

And from you, my dear..if its not too much, I would like to ask you ..to do the same..
A similar promise..that you would try your best each day..to become a better caliph in this life..for Him..
and Only Him.

Therefore future husband...

its okay if you're not perfect..Cause I need you to be as you are.

And if I never had the chance to meet you I this lifetime...Its alright,

because He already knows that I would probably give you all of my heart,
leaving none for Him.

After All..He is Al-'Alim..The All Knowing ;-)

And its okay..cause life is too short anyway.
Its no place to spend forever with your loved ones.

" And what is life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion "(3:185)

Wallahu'alam.

*terkedu*

assalamualaikum,

Telah bersabda Rasulullah s.a.w., " Ya Allah anugerahilah kepada kami dua buah mata yang menangis kerana takut kepada-Mu, sebelum tidak ditemunya air mata."

(source : tidak diketahui)

minta maaf atas kekurangan, tiada hadis yang kukuh, TAPI, nak bawa readers semua berfikir.

ke mana air mata kita pergi selama ini?

kekasih?
gagal exam?
kalah tournament?
tak dapat permission parents?
masalah? masalah n masalah??!!

hanya satu je yang sepatutnya kita tangisi : menangis kerana takut kepada-Mu, Ya Allah. Kesali kekhilafan kita selama ini.

InchaAllah.
Wassalam :)

p/s : da 'menangis' hari ni?

as simple as...

peringatan / tazkirah of the day :

"Ketahuilah sesungguhnya kehidupan dunia itu hanyalah permainan & senda gurauan. Perhiasan dan saling berbangga di antara kamu serta berlumba-lumba dalam kekayaan dan anak keturunan seperti hujan yang tanam2annya mengangumkan para petani, kemudian tanaman itu menjadi kering dan kamu lihat warnanya kuning kemudian menjadi hancur.
Dan di akhirat nanti ada azab yang keras dan ampunan dari Allah serta keredhaanNya.
Dan kehidupan di dunia tidak lain, hanyalah kesenangan yang palsu"

bien dit!

wassalam :)

..cerita? ok..ceritanya bermula....

"Kerajaan katak.
Semua isi kerajaan itu adalah katak. Pada suatu hari, ada sekumpulan ekor katak telah dicampak di dalam perigi.
Kerana apa mereka dicampak?
atas kelemahan mereka sendiri kerana dikatakan banyak ‘mengundang onar’ kepada masyarakat katak ketika itu.

Katak yang berada dalam perigi ini, masing-masing pun sibuklah berusaha untuk menyelamatkan diri dengan berusaha melompat dan memanjat perigi untuk sampai ke atas tanah. Malangnya ketika usaha-usaha itu ingin dilakukan, ada sekumpulan katak pula yang berada di atas tanah berusaha melemahkan semangat mereka dengan mengeluarkan kata-kata seperti; “engkau takkan mampu..engkau lemah..kami takkan tolong walau sedikit pun..siapa suruh engkau melakukan kekecohan di atas tanah?..rasakan,inilah balasan setimpal di atas kekecohan yang engkau lakukan..“.

Pendek cerita, semua kata-kata nista dikeluarkan oleh katak-katak yang melihat dari atas perigi. Disebabkan kata-kata nista tersebut, ada sebilangan katak-katak mula mengatur strategi untuk naik ke atas dengan lebih efektif. Masing-masing mula mengeluarkan pendapat. Oleh kerana tiada pemimpin ketika itu di kalangan mereka, maka katak-katak mangsa ini makin lama seolah-olah ingin bergaduh antara satu sama lain kerana merasakan idea mereka yang paling bagus. Setelah beberapa ketika, kutuk-mengutuk diantara mereka berlaku. Mereka juga mengeluarkan kata-kata yang tidak menarik yang melemahkan semangat antara mereka.

TETAPI, ada seekor katak ini, tetap gigih berusaha memanjat untuk naik ke atas tanah walaupun huru-hara berlaku di dalam perigi dan juga di atas perigi. Akhirnya beliau selamat sampai ke atas tanah. Bila ditanya oleh wartawan ketika itu, apa rahsia kejayaan beliau untuk naik ke atas tanah? Beliau menjawab..” saya pekak..saya oke!..”..

artikel daripada Perjalanan Kehidupan.

senang kata..susah untuk aplikasikan nya..
betul, pendapat dan kata2 orang sekeliling sangat sukar untuk kita hadapi..dan mungkin boleh membawa barah kapada hati kita sendiri..nak jadi katak yang terkurung selama-lamanya dalam perigi?

tau x senang.. Mù Lán pun tengah mencuba..

Mari 'pekak kan telinga'!!?

p/s : sile jangan tanya macam mana katak pekak tu boleh menjawap soalan wartawan tu kalau dia tak dapat mendengar..

study & work life..

Assalamualaikum

tengah bercuti kah semua? tengah buat apa tu? :)

maaf atas kekhilafan Mù Lán selama ini..
harap semua dapat terima comeback Mù Lán...

beberapa tahun yang lepas, kebanyakan SH10 masih dibangku 'sekolah'..
bertebaran di muka bumi..
mencari ilmu..
dan mengembara mencari kasih NYA..
dan sekarang, ramai juga antara kami yang mula masuk ke dunia pe'KERJA'an..

Mù Lán tengok, ramai antara kita memilih dalam mahu meneruskan perjalanan kita..
memilih itu penting, penting dalam memastikan tarbiyyah kita tidak ketinggalan..
tetapi, kadang-kadang kita terlupa..
dalam sebaik-baik perancangan kita, perancangan NYA lebih baik untuk kita..
nak bawa semua tadabbur ayat ni..walaupun bukan tengah mencari kerja, aplikasikan dalam mahu membuat sesuatu ;)

"berangkat lah kamu dengan rasa ringan maupun dengan rasa berat, dan berjihad lah dengan harta dan jiwa mu di jalan Allah. yang demikian itu adalah lebih baik bagimu jika kamu mengetahui" (9:41)

Mù Lán nak ajak semua, marilah buat sesuatu perkara itu walaupun kita suka atau tidak, niat kerana NYA, kerana itu yang lebih baik untuk kita :)

to readers : sesiapa mahu Tadabbur alam di Borneo? mari! :D

"When we're through you can't fail
Like a lotus blossom soft and palm
How could any fellow say "No sale"
You'll bring honor to us all"
("honor to us all : Mu Lan 1#)

Aku sudah bertunang..

Assalamualaikum. Pasti pembaca sekelian (khususnya sabahat2 yang mengenali diri ini) terkejut dengan berita ini. Mohon maaf kerana tidak memberitahu dan menjemput kalian. TETAPI, minta teruskan pembacaannya..terima kasih.
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Hari-hari berlalu yang dilewati seakan sudah bertahun lamanya, namun yang perlu diakui ialah ianya baru beberapa minggu lalu. Iya, hanya beberapa minggu lalu. Berita itu aku sambut dengan hati yang diusahakan untuk berlapang dada. Benar, aku berusaha berlapang dada. Terkadang, terasa nusrah Ilahi begitu hampir saat kita benar-benar berada di tepi tebing, tunggu saat untuk menjunam jatuh ke dalam gaung. Maha Suci Allah yang mengangkat aku, meletakkan aku kembali di jalan tarbiyyah dan terus memimpin untukku melangkah dengan tabah.

Aku hanya seorang insyirah. Tiada kelebihan yang teristimewa, tidak juga punya apa-apa yang begitu menonjol. Jalan ku juga dua kaki, lihat ku juga menggunakan mata, sama seperti manusia lain yang menumpang di bumi Allah ini. Aku tidak buta, tidak juga tuli mahupun bisu. Aku bisa melihat dengan sepasang mata pinjaman Allah, aku bisa mendengar dengan sepasang telinga pinjaman Allah juga aku bisa bercakap dengan lidahku yang lembut tidak bertulang. Sama seperti manusia lain.

Aku bukan seperti bondanya Syeikh Qadir al-Jailani, aku juga tidak sehebat srikandi Sayyidah Khadijah dalam berbakti, aku bukan sebaik Sayyidah Fatimah yang setia menjadi pengiring ayahanda dalam setiap langkah perjuangan memartabatkan Islam. Aku hanya seorang Insyirah yang sedang mengembara di bumi Tuhan, jalanku kelak juga sama... Negeri Barzakh, insya Allah. Destinasi aku juga sama seperti kalian, Negeri Abadi. Tiada keraguan dalam perkara ini.

Sejak dari hari istimewa tersebut, ramai sahabiah yang memuji wajahku berseri dan mereka yakin benar aku sudah dikhitbah apabila melihat kedua tangan ku memakai cincin di jari manis. Aku hanya tersenyum, tidak mengiyakan dan tidak pula menidakkan. Diam ku bukan membuka pintu-pintu soalan yang maha banyak, tetapi diam ku kerana aku belum mampu memperkenalkan insan itu. Sehingga kini, aku tetap setia dalam penantian.

Ibu bertanyakan soalan yang sewajarnya aku jawab dengan penuh tatasusila.

"Hari menikah nanti nak pakai baju warna apa?"

Aku menjawab tenang.. "Warna putih, bersih..."

"Alhamdulillah, ibu akan usahakan dalam tempoh terdekat."

"Ibu, 4 meter sudah cukup untuk sepasang jubah. Jangan berlebihan."

Ibu angguk perlahan.

Beberapa hari ini, aku menyelak satu per satu... helaian demi helaian naskhah yang begitu menyentuh nubari aku sebagai hamba Allah. Malam Pertama... Sukar sekali aku ungkapkan perasaan yang bersarang, mahu saja aku menangis semahunya tetapi sudah aku ikrarkan, biarlah Allah juga yang menetapkan tarikhnya kerana aku akan sabar menanti hari bahagia tersebut. Mudah-mudahan aku terus melangkah tanpa menoleh ke belakang lagi. Mudah-mudahan ya Allah.

Sejak hari pertunangan itu, aku semakin banyak mengulang al-Quran. Aku mahu sebelum tibanya hari yang aku nantikan itu, aku sudah khatam al-Quran, setidak-tidaknya nanti hatiku akan tenang dengan kalamullah yang sudah meresap ke dalam darah yang mengalir dalam tubuh. Mudah-mudahan aku tenang... As-Syifa' aku adalah al-Quran, yang setia menemani dalam resah aku menanti. Benar, aku sedang memujuk gelora hati. Mahu pecah jantung menanti detik pernikahan tersebut, begini rasanya orang-orang yang mendahului.

"Kak Insyirah, siapa tunang akak? Mesti hebat orangnya. Kacak tak?"

Aku tersenyum, mengulum sendiri setiap rasa yang singgah. Maaf, aku masih mahu merahsiakan tentang perkara itu. Cukup mereka membuat penilaian sendiri bahawa aku sudah bertunang, kebenarannya itu antara aku dan keluarga.

"Insya Allah, 'dia' tiada rupa tetapi sangat mendekatkan akak dengan Allah. Itu yang paling utama."

Berita itu juga buat beberapa orang menjauhkan diri dariku. Kata mereka, aku senyapkan sesuatu yang perlu diraikan. Aku tersenyum lagi.

"Jangan lupa jemput ana di hari menikahnya, jangan lupa!"

Aku hanya tersenyum entah sekian kalinya. Apa yang mampu aku zahirkan ialah senyuman dan terus tersenyum. Mereka mengandai aku sedang berbahagia apabila sudah dikhitbahkan dengan 'dia' yang mendekatkan aku dengan Allah. Sahabiah juga merasa kehilangan ku apabila setiap waktu terluang aku habiskan masa dengan as-Syifa' ku al-Quran, tidak lain kerana aku mahu kalamullah meresap dalam darahku, agar ketenangan akan menyelinap dalam setiap derap nafas ku menanti hari itu.

"Bila enti menikah?"

Aku tiada jawapan khusus.

"Insya Allah, tiba waktunya nanti enti akan tahu..." Aku masih menyimpan tarikh keramat itu, bukan aku sengaja tetapi memang benar aku sendiri tidak tahu bila tarikhnya.

"Jemput ana tau!" Khalilah tersenyum megah.

"Kalau enti tak datang pun ana tak berkecil hati, doakan ana banyak-banyak!" Itu saja pesanku. Aku juga tidak tahu di mana mahu melangsungkan pernikahan ku, aduh semuanya menjadi tanda tanya sendiri. Diam dan terus berdiam membuatkan ramai insan berkecil hati.

"Insya Allah, kalian PASTI akan tahu bila sampai waktunya nanti..."

Rahsia ku adalah rahsia Allah, kerana itu aku tidak mampu memberikan tarikhnya. Cuma, hanya termampu aku menyiapkan diri sebaiknya. Untung aku dilamar dan dikhitbah dahulu tanpa menikah secara terkejut seperti orang lain. Semuanya aku sedaya upaya siapkan, baju menikahnya, dan aku katakan sekali lagi kepada ibu...

"Usah berlebihan ya..."

Ibu angguk perlahan dan terus berlalu, hilang dari pandangan mata.

"Insyirah, jom makan!"

Aku tersenyum lagi... Akhir-akhir ini aku begitu pemurah dengan senyuman.

"Tafaddal, ana puasa."

Sahabiah juga semakin galak mengusik.

"Wah, Insyirah diet ya. Maklumlah hari bahagia dah dekat... Tarikhnya tak tetap lagi ke?"

"Bukan diet, mahu mengosongkan perut. Maaf, tarikhnya belum ditetapkan lagi."

Sehingga kini, aku tidak tahu bila tarikhnya yang pasti. Maafkan aku sahabat, bersabarlah menanti hari tersebut. Aku juga menanti dengan penuh debaran, moga aku bersedia untuk hari pernikahan tersebut dan terus mengecap bahagia sepanjang alam berumahtangga kelak. Doakan aku, itu sahaja.

.......................................

"innalillahi wainna ilaihi rajiun..."

"Tenangnya... Subhanallah. Allahuakbar."

"Ya Allah, tenangnya..."

"Moga Allah memberkatinya...."

Allah, itu suara sahabat-sahabat ku, teman-teman seperjuangan aku pada ibu.

Akhirnya, aku selamat dinikahkan setelah sabar dalam penantian. Sahabiah ramai yang datang di majlis walimah walaupun aku tidak menjemput sendiri.

Akhirnya, mereka ketahui sosok 'dia' yang mendekatkan aku kepada Allah.
Akhirnya, mereka kenali sosok 'dia' yang aku rahsiakan dari pengetahuan umum.
Akhirnya, mereka sama-sama mengambil 'ibrah dari sosok 'dia' yang mengkhitbah ku.

Dalam sedar tidak sedar...

Hampir setiap malam sebelum menjelang hari pernikahan ku... Sentiasa ada suara sayu yang menangis sendu di hening malam, dalam sujud, dalam rafa'nya pada Rabbi, dalam sembahnya pada Ilahi. Sayup-sayup hatinya merintih. Air matanya mengalir deras, hanya Tuhan yang tahu.

"Ya Allah, telah Engkau tunangkan aku tidak lain dengan 'dia' yang mendekatkan dengan Engkau. Yang menyedarkan aku untuk selalu berpuasa, yang menyedarkan aku tentang dunia sementara, yang menyedarkan aku tentang alam akhirat. Engkau satukan kami dalam majlis yang Engkau redhai, aku hamba Mu yang tak punya apa-apa selain Engkau sebagai sandaran harapan. Engkau maha mengetahui apa yang tidak aku ketahui..."

Akhirnya, Khalilah bertanya kepada ibu beberapa minggu kemudian...

"Insyirah bertunang dengan siapa, mak cik?"

Ibu tenang menjawab... "Dengan kematian wahai anakku. Kanser tulang yang mulanya hanya pada tulang belakang sudah merebak dengan cepat pada tangan, kaki juga otaknya. Kata doktor, Insyirah hanya punya beberapa minggu sahaja sebelum kansernya membunuh."

"Allahuakbar..." Terduduk Khalilah mendengar, air matanya tak mampu ditahan.

"Buku yang sering dibacanya itu, malam pertama..."

Ibu angguk, tersenyum lembut... "Ini nak, bukunya." Senaskah buku bertukar tangan, karangan Dr 'Aidh Abdullah al-Qarni tertera tajuk 'Malam Pertama di Alam Kubur'.

"Ya Allah, patut la Insyirah selalu menangis... Khalilah tak tahu mak cik."

"Dan sejak dari hari 'khitbah' tersebut, selalu Insyirah mahu berpuasa. Katanya mahu mengosongkan perut, mudah untuk dimandikan..."

Khalilah masih kaku. Tiada suara yang terlontar. Matanya basah menatap kalam dari diari Insyirah yang diberikan oleh ibu.

"Satu cincin ini aku pakai sebagai tanda aku di risik oleh MAUT. Dan satu cincin ini aku pakai sebagai tanda aku sudah bertunang dengan MAUT. Dan aku akan sabar menanti tarikhnya dengan mendekatkan diri ku kepada ALLAH. Aku tahu ibu akan tenang menghadapinya, kerana ibuku bernama Ummu Sulaim, baginya anak adalah pinjaman dari ALLAH yang perlu dipulangkan apabila ALLAH meminta. Dan ibu mengambil 'ibrah bukan dari namanya (Ummu Sulaim) malah akhlaqnya sekali. Ummu Sulaim, seteguh dan setabah hati seorang ibu."

** Cukuplah kematian itu mengingatkan kita... Cukuplah kita sedar kita akan berpisah dengan segala nikmat dunia. Cukuplah kita sedar bahawa ada hari yang lebih kekal, oleh itu sentiasalah berwaspada. Bimbang menikah tergesa-gesa, tahu-tahu sudah disanding dan diarak seluruh kampung walau hanya dengan sehelai kain putih tak berharga.**



sumber: iluvislam